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The solution is Beach Formal, also known as Beach Wedding Attire. This unique dress code is comprised of the most formal garments you can wear at the beach without looking totally out of place

(Note: under normal circumstances, I would have gone to the store and exchanged it for a medium, but I was under a deadline and considering the closest Anthropologie is now 12 miles away in Marin County, I didn't have time on my side.) I have a narrow frame, a big bust, and a short, thick waist, and as you can see, this dress is way too snug across the chest (I had to pin the front so it wouldn't gape)

Its also given some lift during cooking with the addition of beaten eggs

Outerlayers: Bring a tailored blazer or cardigan to layer over your dress or top

This was true with the popular style of the time: 3.5 inch silk ties, no ifs, ands, or buts

Scrunchies: These fabric-covered hair ties were a common accessory in the 90s, often matching the wearers outfit