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With a modal triggered ability upon attacking, this beastie can throw down a tapped and attacking trampling Dino token or X lifelinking Vampire tokens based on the highest power among your other attacking creatures or the number of your other attacking creatures, respectively

Because, subconsciously, it feels good to pretend you're exercising some measure of control over something you know, deep down, is terrifyingly random

to the 'Pokmon' theme song, she says

This exists in the conventional stock market, and is often sold to less knowledgeable investors

and used under license

It's a bit clunky, and it would be nice if there were a better, cheaper option that you could do at true flash speed without breaking the bank, but it is workable if you're willing to not have any mana rocks in your deck